The new year brings resolutions right? Or is it goals? Oh heck, what’s the difference anyway?

Websters dictionary defines a goal as “the end toward which effort is directed”.  Where a resolution is best defined I think by the definition of resolve itself “to reach a firm decision”.

This year I’m going against everything I’ve ever believed in and was trained to do. I’m not setting any personal goals. I am going to set a resolution this year.

Why in the world would I do that?

I mean what’s the point right? A resolution is nothing more than a statement.  There’s no steps to see an end result.

Your right. But when there is no clear end result to state, then there really aren’t specific steps I need to be taking. Huh? Did I just make that clear as mud for you?  Let me be specific and it will probably help.

My resolution is to do something specifically for myself every day. It may be making a healthy choice for a meal, exercising, going to a movie with friends, anything that is directly related to me and making me emotionally or physically healthier. This does not however include having a glass of wine or treating myself to a meal. Yes, I did say it needed to be a healthy option.

Can you see how this really can’t be set as a goal? I am not going to map out my week with exactly how I’m going to treat myself each day. That wouldn’t be a treat anymore, that would make it more of a chore and defeat the purpose. lol

Where did this idea come from? I mean it sounds so selfish. Yes and no. I and the family were really happy when I did this years ago. I went on weekends away with my girlfriends 2-4 times a year. I was at the gym 4-6 times a week and there were no excuses. I was eating only healthy foods.  Sure weight loss came along with all of it which is a definite plus, but I really felt good about myself. It’s time to put some of that back into every day again.

I’ve been sick for a few days so this is a perfect time to start implementing it. I started this morning off with a massage and then promptly fell asleep when I got home. See, told you I was sick. The massages have been making me feel so much better. My health issues have been ganging up on me again and pain is starting. The massages help keep that pain at bay so it’s really preventative along with being something I can enjoy. Ok, some days if my back is really tweaked it’s not as enjoyable. lol

I’m trying to think ahead to tomorrow and the rest of the week. This week has a pretty busy evening schedule for my daughter’s wrestling so it will be a big test of finding the time.

I won’t be posting all the time on how I’m doing with this resolution, but I will try and check in weekly or monthly about it. Since it can be something little or big I feel good about being able to keep this New Years resolution.

Sleep. It is something we all need to do, but people may not realise the catastrophic effect it can have on their attempts to lose weight. Research has shown again and again that a lack of sleep is linked to weight gain – this is true in both adults and children.

It’s all very well and good to say that you need to get your 6 to 8 hours a night, but with a normal lifestyle it can be hard to have a good sleep routine and you often end up tired during the day. Getting adequate sleep will help you to form a good foundation upon which to start losing weight. Here are some tips:

Start Early

A sleep routine should not be the 10 minutes before bed that you use to wash, moisturize, brush your teeth etc. You need to start thinking about sleep earlier in the day to optimise your chances of sleeping well. Try to avoid a lot of caffeine in your diet as this is a stimulant and keeps you awake. You will be surprised how many products have caffeine in them, so start checking your food and drink labels. Alcohol should not be consumed near bedtime either, as it affects your brain and will lead to a less deep sleep.

Train Yourself

Routine is one of the keys to good sleep. Start doing an activity such as reading, needlework or crosswords before bed each night for about an hour. Avoid anything that uses technology in favour of more relaxing repetitive activities. Try having a bath and doing this activity after to maximize relaxation. You will start to train yourself to associate this activity with bed time and this will help your brain to realize it is time to start shutting down for the night.

Get the Environment Right

Extremes of temperature can keep you awake.  Make sure your bedroom is comfortable, but slightly on the cool side. Turn off all lights and if possible move all electronics, such as the TV, to another room. Turn off your phone as this can transmit electronic signals that interfere with sleep as well.

Get Up

Even if you did not sleep well get up at your normal time. If possible get a light alarm clock to use, that increases light intensity until it wakes you. As it mimics the sun it is a natural way to wake and will be better for you than a traditional alarm as it wakes you gradually.  If you are struggling to actually drop off at night, get up after half an hour and do something, as just lying there may cause you to worry and make sleep even harder.

Get Moving

Try and schedule a little exercise in early in the day. Either get up early for this or do it in your lunch break. A little exercise can help you sleep better- but avoid doing it less than 6 hours before bed.

Good sleep will help you feel healthy and lose weight as your metabolism will not be on a go slow. Even if not trying to lose weight you should try and get a good routine, but when you are it is even more vitally important.

The biggest battle is building a routine and sticking to it. I know it is difficult as I personally battle a lot with insomnia and sleep issues. Setting a regular bedtime is my biggest downfall and the one that helps me get my required 6 hours of sleep the most.

photo courtesy: ddrccl

Have you ever been in a situation that brought on sweats, rapid heartbeat and shortness of breath? You probably weren’t having a heart attack but an anxiety attack. If you suffer from anxiety disorders, learning to manage it is the first step to overcoming it.

Anxiety is characterized as extreme reactions to fearful situations. When someone follows you into a dark area, those anxious feelings of a racing heartbeat and sweaty palms gives way to heightened senses and a rush of adrenalin that can save your life. This is the fight or flight syndrome.

In the case of frequent anxiety, the fearful feelings are dread of a particular situation and not the situation itself. Getting caught in traffic can cause an anxiety attack over what might happen when you get to work late. Starting a new job can bring on anxiety attacks. You don’t know anyone and fear of that unknown can send you into a panic.

Everyone experiences panic or anxiety in small ways. Like the fight or flight example, it can save your life. In new situations, we get panicky but when the outcome we fear fails to materialize, the anxiety stops. For someone with chronic anxiety, this is not the case.

Every situation that brings anxiety is not life-threatening. More than likely it is an extremely stressful situation that has brought on the anxiety as a way of dealing with it. Unchecked anxiety of this type can lead to depression.

If you suffer from anxiety attacks on occasion or a more frequent anxiety disorder, there are steps you can take to keep your anxiety under control.

1. See a professional. This is always a good first step. Self-diagnosis of any type of physical or mental condition is unwise and can be dangerous. A professional psychologist can help you understand your anxiety and prescribe medication or other effective techniques as needed.

2. Get a good night’s sleep. During the sleep cycle, your body repairs itself. You feel more rested after several hours of restorative sleep, reaching the REM stage. Most people need eight hours a night which varies within an hour or two each way. Not getting enough sleep for days on end will ensure that your body doesn’t work correctly. This will include your reaction to real or thought up events.

3. Exercise on a consistent basis. Exercise helps you to use oxygen more efficiently. It helps to get more oxygen to the brain. It also increases focus which may help you see solutions to problems rather than simply worrying about them. It also uses up the endorphins that occur during the normal stress of the day.

4. Meditate. Meditation is more than chanting mantras. Yoga is an exercise that involves quieting the mind and controlling your breathing. Simple mediation such as taking 5 minutes to clear your mind everyday can work wonders in the fight against anxiety. Take some deep breathes and relax your shoulders. You’ll be amazed at how much this simple act can relax you.

5. Manage the worry. When you feel your pulse start to quicken, count backwards from ten. As you count, focus on the situation. What has actually happened? Resist the urge to read anything more into the situation than what is real.

6. Don’t use alcohol. You might think that the glass of wine is relaxing your tension but alcohol is a depressant. In anxious situations you could rely too heavily on it and gain another problem in the process. It will also increase your feelings of anxiety and keep you from sleeping soundly.

7. Find some relaxing activities. Stress can rob you of your energy. On a regular basis, do something you like such as gardening, painting, reading or listening to music. In otherwords, find a hobby.

Anxiety can come into your life at any time. It’s normal. When the anxiety becomes frequent you could be at risk for more serious conditions. If you feel your anxiety is starting to take over your life or increasingly causing you problems, seek professional help immediately. There is no need to suffer this terrible condition in silence.

Five Mom-friendly Fitness Workouts

Once your baby is born you are filled with so much joy from the event. Unfortunately, this blessed event also comes with a few extras – weight gain and flaccid muscles for a major start. Here are five workouts moms can do inside and outside the house to get their pre-baby shape back (and front, lol).

When you first bring your baby home, the trick is how to get sleep and tend to your baby at the same time. The last thing you are thinking about is weight loss and this is a good thing. Adjust and bond at this time. After the first few months when baby begins to settle into a routine, you’ll have more time to think about your body. If you breastfeed, you probably know most of the good news. Breastfeeding causes the uterus to contract and return to its normal shape a lot faster that for mothers who do not and you are burning more calories by making the breastmilk.

New moms say they don’t have time to think about fitness even after baby learns to sleep. When the baby sleeps, they clean up and get a shower, possibly a nap. However, baby has changed his or her schedule after a couple of months and changing yours will benefit you and baby.

Now that baby is on a schedule, are you ready to lose that baby weight? Here are five ideas to use when baby is sleep or awake to get some exercise every day.

1. Go for a walk. Everyone needs fresh air. For a newborn, use a Snuggly to carry him if he is awake. You can talk to him while you walk. If baby is asleep or on the edge of sleep, bundle him up in a stroller and hit the pavement. Jog strollers allow more ambitious moms who would rather run to do so along with baby and stay safe. It’s important to have the breaks on your stroller if you decide to jog.

2. Do some baby weightlifting. Who needs barbells when you have a new baby in the house? If baby is awake, use him to strengthen those muscles. Place baby on your abdomen when doing crunches. Use him as your weight for bicep curls, military presses (carefully), and chest presses. Don’t forget to also do Kegel exercises & strengthen the pelvic floor to help get those out-of-position muscles back in shape.

3. Put in a DVD. The great thing about DVDs is that they can be stopped and started with the touch of a button. Starting slow with your workouts will ensure you stay with them. Try a twenty-minute program if that is all you have time for. As baby sleeps longer, increase the length of your workout. As baby gets older they will also love to be in their bouncy chairs and watch as mom shimmies around the living room.

4. Choose a gym with child care. Some women enjoy taking fitness classes. Getting out with others makes you feel like a real person again. A gym that has child care allows you to exercise without worrying that baby will wake up and interrupt. Or just hit your gym and get some time to yourself on the treadmill and the weight room.

5. Try water aerobics. You and your baby can take a water class. Babies live in water for nine months so they are used to it. Keep them in the water with you as you kick, twist and jog off the pounds. You might not sweat, but working the body in the water is a incredible workout.

Welcome to motherhood and trying to find balance. The beauty of our kids is they are ever changing. In turn so will our workouts and our schedules. Never boring at least

Stress is a natural and positive adaptation. Stress is what pushes us to get stuff done; however in our modern lives, the stress has built up too much and we don’t have enough releases. If we don’t get rid of this stress and anxiety, it can lead to serious health problems. There are many techniques out there to get rid of stress, but why not try one of the simplest options: positive thinking.

How we think controls what we do and how we handle our lives. If a negative thinker is in a stressful situation, they’ll spend their time worrying about the situation, anticipating the worst, and ignoring the positives. When a positive thinker is faced with a stressful situation, they instead focus on how they can overcome the situation an what they can learn from it. A negative thinker gets bogged down by anxiety while positive thinkers are busy solving and learning from hardship. Coincidentally, people who think positively are not only less stressed and better at coping, they’re also less likely to get communicable and non-communicable disease, have a greater sense of well-being, and they even live longer. So cut off those destructive negative thoughts and think positively.

You’re probably thinking “That’s nice, but how do I actually change my thought from negative to positive?” The truth is that most of our thinking is automatic. This means it takes time and effort to change our thoughts, but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Take time to stop regularly throughout the day and reflect on your thoughts. Take specific negative thoughts you have and write them down. Next to them, write a positive version of each negative thought, then get rid of the negatives and keep the positives. Keep telling yourself the positive thoughts throughout the day. If you keep telling yourself the same things over and over, you’ll eventually start to believe them and start to think about them automatically.

If you have an anxiety disorder, you may find there are so many negative thoughts swirling around in your head they’re just impossible to get rid of. While you make one thought positive, 10 more negative thoughts pop into your head. Such an overwhelming amount of negative thought can be difficult to overcome. If you recognize this problem, then you’ll probably benefit from meditation. This is a breathing and focusing method used to relax your body and clear your mind. Once you remove obsessive negative thoughts from your head, then you can then start to replace them with positive thoughts.

The road to less anxiety is long, and it’s not easy. If you keep at it, you’ll eventually learn to live a happier, healthier, longer life.

I remember seeing comedy shows or skits when I was young where someone is practicing meditation. There was usually one person closing their eyes and “ohm”ing while the other person tried to imitate them or simply made snide remarks. While we used to look upon meditation as being funny, ridiculous, or just plain odd; we now know about all the benefits it has to offer. Originally, meditation was used to focus and gain religious knowledge. Now, it is commonly used to reduce stress and live longer, happier, healthier lives.

So why is mediation so helpful for relieving stress? First of all, it helps focus the mind on something that is deeply and spiritually rooted. By focusing on one thing, you’re forced to forget the world around you and all the stressors that come with it. By closing your eyes and sitting in a quiet room, you also filter out the sights and sounds that may stress you. Meditation also helps repair the physical and mental damage caused by stress. The chemicals present in your body actually change during meditation making you more relaxed and peaceful.

The relaxing benefits from above are only the short term benefits Those factors are only successful in filtering out stress that you’ve already experienced and making you relaxed during and after your meditating. The real benefit of meditation is its longer term effects. If practiced on a daily basis, meditation can actually balance the levels of hormones and other stress related chemicals on a day-to-day basis; even when you’re not meditating. This means that meditation will not only help you unwind at the end of a stressful day, it can also leaved you more peaceful and less stressed during your long day at work.

The best part about meditation is, unlike yoga, it requires no special physical skills. While good meditation requires mental skills, you can start small and build your way up as you get more practice. Here’s how to get started.

* Find a quiet room and sit in a comfortable position. There is no specific “better” position, just one where you feel comfortable and can relax.
* Close your eyes and relax your muscles. Do this by focusing on each individual muscle, starting at the feet and working your way up. Focus on the stress leaving each muscle as it relaxes.
* Begin to breathe slowly while you repeat your mantra. This can be anything from the traditional “ohm” to something you find personally important. If you are religious or spiritual, you can chant something related to your beliefs.
* If you find your mind wandering, don’t beat yourself up about it; simply remain calm and return to your focus word.
* After 15 to 20 minutes, you can stop meditating and sit quietly for a few minutes before you return to your regular life.

By doing this regularly, you will train your mind and body to be more relaxed, peaceful and focused. You will find this not only affects your stress levels, but also your physical and mental functioning.

Is there too much stress in your life? Is everything piling up and weighing you down? Perhaps you’ve tried pharmaceutical and herbal remedies, but nothing seems to work. You should try a proven natural therapy that has been used for generations to relive stress and make you feel better. So what is this miracle cure that makes us feel so great? It’s laughter. Laughter is nature’s way of easing tension and helping us relax. So take some time to laugh every day and you’ll be feeling better in no time.

So how does laughter work exactly? Well, laughter works on several levels to make us feel better and less stressed. First, laughter works to relieve stress physically. When we laugh, stress hormones in our blood, like cortisol, are actually reduced. Laughter also gives us a mini workout, which improves out health and releases hormones that make us feel happier. Lastly, when we laugh, it helps boost our immune system. The stronger our immune system is, the better we feel and the more prepared we are to combat stress.

Laughter helps us emotionally release stress as well. Our bodies are designed to release excess emotions physically through acts such as laughing and crying. When we laugh, it releases some of our negative emotions as well. It can also change the thoughts that promote our emotions. Laughter helps us think more positively, worry less, and be less stressed. Even if laughter doesn’t promote positive thinking, it can make us forget about our negative thoughts and feel better.

If you’re laughing with friends or loved ones, you are also promoting social bonding. When we are bonded with people, it promotes supportive relationships that can make us feel more supported and less burdened, so we feel less stressed out about our situation.

So what do you do if life just isn’t that funny? What if you just can’t find anything to laugh at? You fake it. That’s right, fake laughing. Consider one study done on forced laughter. Participants were asked to watch a movie and either not laugh at anything or laugh at the jokes whether they thought they were funny or not. After the movie, participants filled out a survey on how much they liked the movie. Believe it or not the people who laughed rated the movie as significantly better and funnier. Laughing, forced or not, improves the way you view the world and helps to fight stress from your everyday life.

In addition to stress relief, laughing has also been show to help you eat less, boost your immune system, increase your pain threshold, and even help you heal faster. So don’t delay. Whether it means going to a funny movie or laughing for no good reason at all, start laughing your way to a less stressful life today.

We all know that exercise is important for a strong body. Regular weekly exercise not only maintains a healthy weight, but it also helps the body to deal with stress. Just thirty minutes a day of physical exercise can relieve stress and improve your health pretty dramatically.

Exercise produces endorphins in the body. These endorphins produce a “feel good” attitude in the body. To continue to experience this feeling, people continue to exercise. You may have heard of the “runners high”. This is that feeling of those endorphins being released.

Exercise also increases the flow of blood to the brain. As a result, our mental clarity becomes sharper and we see solutions to problems where at first we thought there was none. Our cardiovascular fitness increases and we enjoy an abundance of energy for the tasks we face each day.

Exercise has so many benefits, so why don’t people do more of it? One reason that people don’t exercise is that they can’t find the time. What a pickle. We all need to find time to exercise so that we can take the time to deal with the stress in our lives.

For busy moms, exercising in the morning may be a good option. Before the day gets going and life happens, we can get our mental boost. In the morning, exercise can be done uninterrupted. You don’t need to go to a gym for a workout. Exercise videos and DVD’s are available that give just as good if not better workouts. And, you don’t have to get up, shower, get dressed and drive to the gym.

Another reason that people don’t exercise is that they don’t know what to do. They start out gung-ho and end up injuring themselves. The key to sticking with exercise is to find an activity that is at your pace and that you like to do. Yoga, for example, is a relaxing activity that teaches the body and the mind to work in tandem while strengthening the muscles and oxygenating the body.

Walking is still the best overall exercise and all you need is a good pair of shoes. Why not take a brisk walk around your neighborhood in the morning to clear your head and go over your schedule for the day. For working moms, lunchtime offers a chance to walk with friends and put the stress of work behind you. For families, walking in the evening after dinner is a way for everyone to de-stress and increases their health.

Exercise boosts our immune system. It prevents the depletion of minerals in our bodies that usually comes with a prolonged stress response. Have you noticed that people who are under a lot of stress often catch colds? This is why. Exercise can prevent this type of result by keeping our minds sharp enough to deal with the stress in our lives.

Exercise has many benefits including weight reduction, heart health, and stress relief. Thirty minutes or more a day can arm your body against the effects of stress. The endorphins can change your outlook on problems so that finding solutions is less of a struggle.

Single Mom Online Dating Safety Tips

If you have been out of the dating scene for a long time, it can be scary. Meeting new people in a romantic setting is daunting under the best of circumstances. For the single mom, dating must be balanced with caring for your family. Here are a few tips to date safely.

Many women, including single moms have turned to the Internet for dating help. It’s hard to meet men on your own as a single mom. Most of the time, you are with your children or running errands or working. There just don’t seem to be enough hours in the day.

All women want to find a decent man. Meeting a stranger for a blind date has the potential for danger especially if you don’t know anything about the person. Asking an unknown man to meet you at your home could put your family at risk if he turns out to be a less than stable person.

Online dating is the alternative to the singles bar scene. Single moms can meet men and learn something about them without the hassle of a bad first date. Without any pressure, a woman can be herself.

Online dating services usually offer trial periods were a person can try the service for free to see if it is what they are looking for. Detailed searches give you statistics about men in the age and interest group that you are interested in. Chats online also give you a chance to make first contact to find out what the perspective date is all about.

Single moms should remember to mention that they have children. This will weed out the men who are not interested in dating a woman with children. The point of online dating is not to waste your time, but to help you find a date without all the fuss of traditional methods.

Don’t give out too much information about yourself. The Internet has also become a place for predators to hide. The site will need your accurate information for sign-up purposes, but you can block all of this from ever being seen by anyone who views your profile. A picture is not necessary, so if you don’t feel comfortable sharing one, don’t.

Set up a first date when you are ready. Meet him at the restaurant or movie theater. This keeps you both on equal footing and increases your safety. Ask him to wear something distinctive like a red carnation so that he can be easily recognized by you.

Online dating is a new tool for single moms. You can meet men safely and on your own terms. And, when you are ready and sure, then you can initiate the love connection.

There are several forms of skin cancer: Basal Cell Carcinoma, Squamous Cell Carcinoma, and the worst form of skin cancer known as Malignant Melanoma. Let’s discuss what to look for, symptoms, and when you should contact your doctor.

Basal Cell Carcinoma: This is a common form of skin cancer usually caused by over-exposure to the sun. This type of skin cancer grows slowly, rarely spreads, and is seldom life-threatening. While it may vary in appearance, it is usually characterized by a small, flat module which gradually may turn into an open sore with raised edges. It appears frequently on the face, usually around the eyes, near the nose or on the nose, as well as on other sun-exposed areas including the back, chest, arms, and legs. For proper diagnosis and treatment of Basal Cell Carcinoma, see your doctor.

Squamous Cell Carcinoma: This is also a common form of skin cancer which is rarely life-threatening. It starts as a small, firm, painless lump or patch, and resembles a wart or an open sore. It is also associated with over-exposure to the sun and can occur anywhere on the body. It is most common on the back of the hands or on the lips. If you have a lump on your skin that does not heal within three weeks, check with your doctor.

Malignant Melanoma: This is the most deadly form of skin cancer. It is sometimes associated with exposure to the sun, but can occur anywhere on the body including parts of the body not exposed to the sun. It most often appears on the face, upper chest or legs, and usually grows from existing moles. Malignant moles may bleed and can resemble sores that do not heal. If you think you have a melanoma, contact your doctor immediately.

Identifying skin cancers can be difficult. However, there are ways in which you can determine if you have any of the above three skin cancers.

Cancerous moles are often asymmetrical, that is, one half of the mole looks different from the other half. The outline of a cancerous mole can be uneven or have poor defined edges and may change over time. Melanomas can be very dark in color and contain shades of tan, brown, white, red, or blue. Moles that grow larger than a half inch across may be a sign of malignant melanomas, although smaller moles can also indicate malignancy as well.

As we move into the Summer months, please remember to use your sunscreen and take care of your skin just like you do the rest of your body.